The Jude Thaddeus Program, an Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Program, Offered at the St. Jude Retreat House

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This chapter is devoted to learning how to live beyond the patterns of the past. There is a distinct line that is drawn in the sand here. Your old life will now be dealt the final blow, and a new life plan will begin to grow where the old one was left behind. Unlike 12 step programs which advocate that you go back to the people you have hurt and make ‘direct amends’ to such people, the JTP takes a very different tact. What the JTP advocates is True Amends. In order to accomplish True Amends, the next crucial point in this process is that you must commit to never repeat the offending behavior again. Rather than meeting and dredging up a myriad of painful experiences with people you have hurt in your past, make a promise to yourself to change your behavior in the present and future. This must be a solid pact with yourself. Leave no gray area through which you can slither. You must be permanently committed to a change your attitude and actions for this method (taking adult responsibility) to work. As a person who is trying to fully develop, learning to deal with guilt productively is a natural human process. For those who have an immature outlook, guilt is used for self-pity and in turn as an excuse to fail. Those people who immerse themselves in self-pity over their past misbehaviors find it easy to regress to their old solution. Most therapy, especially therapy conducted by addiction professionals, suggests that if you feel guilt, you will automatically drink and drug abusively. This is nonsense, unless of course, you want it to be true. Guilt is normal, and depending on what you do with it, it can be a catalyst for productive change in a person, or if left to fester, a person can become consumed by self-pity. The truth is guilt is largely an unnecessary feeling and is actually, like so many other things, a choice. All true reparations are characterized by a common theme. Decide to change your behavior first, and then your apology will naturally occur as the people around you become more trusting of you. Your new self-image will be that of a person who handles situations productively, who is kind, when in the past you may have been uncaring and resentful. You will learn to be patient, stable, loving, forgiving and productive. However, if your self-image remains as it is today, you will probably remain counterproductive. There has to be a starting point for your new existence. You must begin to dream and change. Please give yourself a break and take a chance. Imagine the person you want to be. All the successful people around you have done this and continue to grow each day. Isn’t it time for you to join humanity on a mature level and let go of self-hatred and depression?
Preview Chapter 10 - Replacement

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