Enabling – What Is It?
In order to understand how enabling takes place we must first understand what it means. In the treatment and rehabilitation industry enabling can be defined as an action that unintentionally precipitates a substance abuser to continue on his or her downward path. This means that a parent, wife, child, or any loved one for that matter, while the intentions may be good, are hurting the person by trying to help them, resulting in a dangerous Catch-22.
How Do I Enable?
The question needs to be asked “If and how am I enabling my loved one?” This is a tough question to answer, and can usually be more accurately assessed on a case by case basis. Enabling can range anywhere from giving the substance abuser money for food (which they will inevitably spend on drugs/alcohol), to allowing the person to continue breaking rules without any consequences. Both of these instances enforce negative behavior, rendering the person unable to accept responsibility for their actions, allowing them to continue on their path of destruction.
Why Do I Enable?
People will often say that they’re not enabling the substance abuser; they are just trying to help them. But are they truly helping the person, and is this process beneficial? For example, Jimmy has been arrested twice, once on a small possession charge, and a second time for breaking and entering. Jimmy’s parents have, in both instances, hired a great lawyer and got jimmy off with a simple slap on the wrist. Most parents will not see anything wrong with this situation, but, if we take a deeper look into j what has gone on, we can see the problems with “helping” Jimmy. Thus far, to his experience, every time jimmy gets in trouble with the law his solution is to call his parents for help. They then hire Jimmy a lawyer and, just like a snap of the fingers, Jimmy’s problems disappear. Jimmy has now developed a mindset that if and when he gets in trouble his parents will solve his problems for him. This will carry on to every aspect of Jimmy’s life, and he will not learn how to deal with problems on his own. Something drugs do a great job of accomplishing. When life becomes hard and a person has to deal with reality, drugs are used as a tool to make those problems disappear, but as you and I know, they are making these problems worse.
So, am I telling you not to help you loved ones? No, what I am trying to portray is that there needs to be a time where the line is drawn. There is nothing wrong with assisting a person in areas where they are not capable, but if you are overbearing it can become harmful.
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Enabling a Drug 'Addict' 